06 August 2013

A Little Background & Reunion Update

I am filled with heartfelt thanks to all who shared words of encouragement on my last post.  Thank you all so much for stopping by and lending your support.

I've mentioned a few times that I have family drama.  The drama is this:  I am the sole caregiver of a very mentally ill parent.  In addition to refusing any and all types of treatment, my parent has now centered the focus of their anger on me.  I've been involved in this since 2005 and I am exhausted and depleted - physically, emotionally, and mentally.  I went to Toronto a couple of weeks ago to get away for a bit.  I had a good time and was fortunate to meet the lovely KayoticSewing from Gently down the seam... When I returned home, the weight of my reality hit me hard and I became overwhelmed.  So that's it about the drama.  I could talk for hours and hours about all that's happened in the last eight years, but I won't.  It's a sad and depressing story and I'm trying hard to not to let it consume me anymore than it already has.

As for the reunion dress, it's a bust as is the reunion itself.  I'm not going.  I recently learned that tickets to both the mixer and formal dinner are sold out.  I phoned one of the organizers back in May but never received a call back.  I registered on the site to get more information at the same time, but was never contacted.  I assumed that tickets would be available for sale at each event - just like it was at the 10-year reunion.  Obviously, I was wrong.  I'm a little disappointed, but not upset.  After all, I haven't spoken to any of those people in 20 years and probably won't have much to say now.  I will spend my weekend with people that I talk to regularly as well as start on a new sewing project. 

L


24 comments:

  1. I hope you have a wonderful time at the reunion. It is very difficult to care for an adult who refuses treatment. Please take care of yourself.

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    1. Thank you. Indeed it has been extremely difficult.

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  2. You are much better off spending time with people who you love and make you laugh than a bunch of people you are only seeing because you went to school with them. If they were that great you would have kept friends with them over time. Shame about the dress though. Maybe you need to sew a quick well known pattern as a pick me up.

    Are there any support groups or Govt support for people like you who have to take care of people with mental issues? I can imagine it would be very hard on you to say the least.

    Thoughts are with you. Take care.

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    1. Thanks Beverly. I'm truly not upset about missing the reunion. The people with whom I stay in contact didn't graduate in my year.

      There are support groups through a national organization, but nothing specifically from the government. My local county is the worst to be mentally ill. There is great need with little help.

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  3. So sorry to read about your stress - we've just wrapped up a 4 year (!) struggle through Family Court dealing with a similar situation.
    Make sure you take care of yourself! Best wishes and thinking good thoughts for you.

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    1. I know what you mean about the court system. Sadly, ours is broken. Thanks for sharing.

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  4. Sometimes, it is one second at a time. Take care of yourself. Finish your dress because I think that you will look great wearing it. Some things are not met to be, it is always great to spend time with people that care about you. Happy sewing.

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  5. You are in my thoughts! I hope things get a little less stressful for you soon.

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  6. Hugs,L! And yes, please put yourself first.

    Like Beajay said, I've seen a lot of help and support groups available for carers in the UK, when I lived there. I hope there's a group near you and you get the support you need.

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  7. Being a full time carer for a person with mental health issues is one of the hardest things in the world to do, and very alienating. I agree with the others - there may be support groups, where you can just get out and meet other people who face the same challenges as you. Also, is there anyway you can get respite - perhaps another family member might help for a week or so (although reading between the lines, I suspect not). Or are there institutions where your parent can go periodically to give you a break (although watch for the anger about this).

    BeaJay is also right - your friends are in touch - and in your situation, I am sure you have lost friends - only true ones stay through this sort of situation.

    I am sorry about the reunion. Treat yourself to something else instead perhaps.

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    1. A former governor of this state closed all of the long-term mental facilities years ago. Largely, people with mental issues receive mediocre treatment in prison or no treatment on the streets. It's been me for the last eight years and I've run out of energy.

      I have lost friends over this. One in particular told me that she would prefer if I didn't bring my baggage around her. I haven't spoken to her since then. She wasn't a true friend and it took this for me to finally see it. On the other hand, I have wonderful, super-fantastic people in my life who have comfortable water resistant shoulders and are always supportive. I am grateful for their unyielding friendship.

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  8. I Can't Claim That I Totally Understand What You Are Going Through With A Parent, But I CaN Imagine A LittlE BiT, having An Aunt Who Periodically Stay With Us Growing Up. definitely Do Take Care Of Yourself, And Treat Yourself! I Guess Sewing Is One Of The ThinGs You Do For That Self Time... Sending A Lot Of Hugs And Positivity Your Way!! :)
    Your Sewing Blog Buddy,
    Far

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    1. Aww, thanks Far. I will try to stay positive; thanks for the good vibes.

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  9. Sorry to hear. Do take care of yourself and remember that hard times don't last forever. Hugs

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    1. Thank you Farhana. It's hard to remember that, but I will keep trying.

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  10. Take care of yourself, and perhaps look into some counseling as a safe place to discuss your feelings. Don't stuff those feelings, as they will not go away but only show up elsewhere. Thinking of you.

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  11. As for the reunion, I'm glad you are not terribly upset. I know that you know things happen for a reason. Enjoy your sewing weekend, sewing often brings peace.

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    1. Yes, things happen for a reason. I did something super fun yesterday and hope to get some sewing in this weekend.

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Thanks for commenting! I appreciate and read them all - even if I can not personally respond.

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